1) We're mostly introverts. Yeah, we may go out and do 40-50 miles on a casual Sunday ride, filled with 20 other people, but we're actually introverted people. We're all simply drawn together by our love of riding our bikes. And lycra. See, the thing is, though, that with all that time we spend pedaling, we have a lot of time to think. About work, riding, you, ourselves, our cat, you, whether or not we should buy a duck (yes, I've spent two hours debating that with myself during a ride.), if we want a beer or a Coke after we're done, what to eat for dinner, you, and also you.
2) Yeah, we're gonna worry about our diet. This is actually a better deal than most people think. Yes, we're gonna worry about our diet. But here's the thing. We're gonna eat what tastes good. If we've found a restaurant or recipe that is not only healthy, but tastes great, then that's what we're gonna eat. We like finding new foods that taste amazing, in addition to being healthy for us. And besides, it's highly unlikely that it's gonna be like this 1000% of the time. We're gonna get those cravings for pizza and hamburgers with a large Coke, as well. Just trust us when we suggest eating a seared ahi steak with lemon sauce, served on a bed of rice/quinoa, with a baked potato, and a side of strawberry chicken salad.
3) Speaking of food, we won't ever say no to leftovers. If you insist on giving them to us, expect us to put up a token resistance, while silently doing a fist pump.
Of course, that's assuming that there are any leftovers at all. I typically cook for a small army. Not because I have a small army, but because I need to cook like that if I'm gonna keep myself fed. Just don't get your fingers too close when you're pointing out how much we've eaten. We don't want to accidentally consume that, too.
4) Expect to learn what FTP is, or zone 3, or a pinch flat, or any of the other hundred things we talk about. OK. Maybe don't expect to learn about them. But expect to hear about them. Cuz we're gonna talk about it. Learning about them only helps you understand us in the long run.
5) If we say we're gonna skip a ride to be with you, that's probably one of the most important things we can do to show you we care. It means that, rather than spend the 3 hours flogging ourselves doing the intervals that we had planned, we're instead going to spend those 3 hours with you. It's a huge compliment.
6) We don't need much in the way of gifts. Odds are, if riding our bike is something we're really into, we're already pretty self sufficient. And we probably have tons of spares of, well, almost everything. But, if you absolutely want to get us a gift, most peoples minds immediately go to buying a bike. Don't. Those things are wicked expensive, and we don't want that kind of money wasted on us. Instead, how about a new set of pedals and cleats? A new chain? Some handlebar grips/tape? I can't think of any cyclist that would say no to some rad socks, or a new bib. In short, buying us spare tubes and such is a nice thought, but they'll probably sit in a drawer, and buying a bike is just plain crazy talk.
7) Tan lines. In addition to the farmers tan, and the tan on our thighs, I also sport a sock and glove tan. And before I swapped to full fingered gloves, I also had tans on my fingers, also from the gloves. You can tell how long we're riding for just by how well defined the tan lines are.
8) No matter where we are, if we see another cyclist ride by, we're going to silently appraise them. It's not that we're not paying attention to you, it's just that we're trying to figure out if we can beat that guy in a race.
9) When there's a major cycling race on TV, expect us to disappear from the world. Seriously. I've been known to go through complete radio silence while I watch each stage of Le Tour, or the Tour of California, or Paris-Nice. We're not ignoring you. It's just that this is our Super Bowl. Every day of the week. For weeks at a time.
10) Our sport can be dangerous. But we love it. It's ours. But because I ride my bike, I have hundreds of amazing photos and experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world.
11) Finally, and this is important. If you aren't on board with all the rest of the reasons, I think that this one will help you appreciate cycling. How do I put this delicately? Our asses look amazing. Especially in the lycra. Even I am amazed at how good my butt looks in the mirror.
So, what do you guys think? Do you have any other tips for dating a cyclist? I'd love to hear your thoughts, so post them in the comments below!
Until the next one, guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
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