I would apologize for this one, but I'm really not sorry. See, as somebody who has two cats, and has had dogs in the past, I can say confidently that pets are a pain in the ass. I have way less trouble with my bikes than I do with my cats. And cats are supposed to be independent creatures! Now, I'm not saying you should get rid of any animals you have. Just that, in the future, you should look into buying a bike instead of some kind of critter. So, without further ado, here are my reasons why bikes make the best pets, and regular pets are a PITA.
1) Pets will get into things/places that they shouldn't. Like I said, I have a pair of cats, and when they get a wild hair up their asses (which is often, seeing as how they have fur and all), they love jumping up on the counters and table. Except that, you know, that's not cool with me. My bike, though, never goes where it shouldn't. I put it somewhere and come back to it an hour later, it's still friggin there! Unless it decides to fall on the ground. Then, you know, it's on the ground. But still basically where I put it, just not where I want it to be.
2) Pets have to go to the vet. Vet bills. Ugh. I mean, I get why you take your little fuzzball to the vet. But keeping up to date with shots, and paying for a microchip, and then taking them in for check-ups. It all adds up! Don't get me started on when your little furry bundle of joy decides to go and get injured. Then it's crazy pricey! My bike, though? All I have to do is take it in for regular maintenance, replace a few parts here and there, and I'm good! Unless I crash. Then I take it in to make sure nothing is broken or anything.
3) Your bike never gets underfoot. Know what one of the biggest hazards in my house is? Standing up and friggin' walking somewhere. Doesn't matter if I walk from one end of the apartment to the other, or if I walk 10 feet. Know why? Because my cats are gonna try to trip me. Why they do this, I have no idea. Maybe they're plotting my death, and I've just been lucky to survive thus far. My bike, though, just sits under my legs, and doesn't try any of that shit. It just follows where I go. Even if I clip a pedal on something, and I start to crash out, I know that my bike is right underneath me!
4) Pets need food, and attention, and if you're really unlucky, regular baths. My bike, though? Chain lube, oil, and a cleaning from time to time. Big bang boom!
5) Your bike will never leave you. Unless you gave it away or sold it, of course. Pets are douches, and might just walk away from you, even if you call them. Your bike would never ignore you like that.
6) Pets get fur everywhere. Assuming you don't ride in the rain or snow, a bike will only get dirt and grease places. But that's not that hard to clean up, right?! And assuming you do ride in the rain, then all you need to do is clean up the water. Ain't no thang.
7) Pets take up tons of time and attention. My bikes? They only time they take up is when I'm actually riding them. Same goes for the attention! Unless I'm thinking about them, which I do all the time.
8) Pets always want attention, and unconditional love, and for you to spend time with them. Bikes, though, if they could take, just want you to ridden them all the time.
9) Pets typically make noise any time they want something. Whether it be food, water, attention, or to be played with, until they get what they need, all they ever do is make noise! But my bike only makes noise whenever it needs maintenance. Totally different!
These are just a few reasons why I think bikes are way better than pets. I'm not gonna get rid of my cats any time soon, but I always know what'll love me unconditionally: my bike!
What do you guys think? Are there any reasons I missed about why a bike is better than having a pet? Let me know in the comments! And till the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
You either like the headwind, or you're wrong
Before I jump into it, I'm gonna preface it with this: this mostly applies to people that do road races, time trials, or the hero on the Saturday/Sunday group pace line. But I do think that there's a bit of info here that everyone can learn from. I'm also going to group crosswinds in the same category as headwinds, because they share many similar qualities. K. Ready?
If you don't like the headwind, then it's about time you get onboard with it, because that shit ain't going anywhere, besides into your face. It's mother-friggin nature. You aren't gonna beat that.
The other day I was out at Fiesta Island, and it had been particularly windy most of the day. As such, a bunch of my riding buddies were texting back and forth, humming and hawing about what the wind would be like on our workout at the island that night. The general consensus? Utter fear.
In my mind, Fiesta Island is perfect. The big lap is a 4 mile circular loop that starts off with a crosswind. This transforms rather quickly into a short headwind, then a looooong crosswind, followed by a banking lefthand turn that gives you a tailwind. Just when you think you're about to recover, you sweep left and BOOM! Back into headwind before it tosses you into a crosswind, and then you're right where you left off. Sound grueling? That's because it is, and that's how it should be.
It teaches you how to be a hardman (or hardwoman), mentally and physically. Seriously. In other words, it's a free training tool.
I specifically choose a ride which involves a long, soul crushing headwind a couple times a week. I do this just so I get more experience and so I get better at breaking people with it. Think about it for a minute. Assuming you've got any decent wind in your area, just think of the number of directions it can come from. Now think of all those different directions that aren't a tailwind, and try not to swallow in shock, mkay?
I can't tell you how many times my ability to ride into a headwind has paid off, and I've broken lesser riders. More often than not, they look up and see me at the front, practically unaffected as I drill a pace, my pull longer and faster than those that came before me. They see my legs continuing to not mash the pedals, but merely spin, and they tremble. It's at this point that they look down and realize that we've picked up a couple miles an hour. Their heart rate begins to climb, as does their power, and they stare, unabashed as I continue pulling, unwilling to let anyone else come to the front. At this point, they begin to doubt themselves. They doubt their abilities. Their very souls cry out in pain and in disgrace. Now, one of two things happens. Either they break mentally, or I continue pulling and break their legs off. Either way, their time in the group is done.
All because I ride into the wind.
If you don't believe that knowing how to be a hardman in the wind is important, I encourage you to watch my main man Jens Voigt crack the peloton in half at stage 5 of the 2013 Tour of California. How did he do it? He went to the front of the pack during a gnarly crosswind and did what Jens Voigt does best: made lesser men cry by putting down the hammer.
The thing is, anyone can ride fast with a tailwind. It's easy to push 25, 28, or even 30 miles an hour with a strong enough tailwind. But turn around and try riding 20 miles an hour into that same wind, and tell me how you do. It's a whole different beast, and it's what separates the men from the boys. The wheat from the chaff. The awesome post race IPA from fizzy yellow beer. Ya see where I'm going with this? A headwind is resistance training that you don't pay for.
Anyone can go for a ride with a tailwind, focus on their miles per hour, and think that you're one bad mamba jamba. But turn around into that headwind, and all of a sudden it's a different story. You look at your speed, and feel an overwhelming sadness come over you. Don't let it. Remember, everyone is encountering the same wind that you are.
If you have a power meter, instead focus on that. That's where the money lies. Power can tell you exponentially more than speed can, simply because power is actually representative of how much...wait for it....power you're putting out. Isn't that a wonder? Speed, in this situation, is irrelevant. Power is everything. Shift up a couple gears if you have to, but always try to put out a consistent amount of power.
Remember two things when riding into a headwind. 1) those guys sucking your wheel are hurting more than you are, and 2) this headwind isn't going to let up, so you may as well embrace it for what it is: a challenge. And eventually, isn't that what cycling is all about? Pushing past your boundaries to become a better cyclist? To get harder, better, faster, stronger? And to hopefully one day be that rider at the front who knows that, on a whim, they can break the legs off of the lesser cyclists behind them?
Get out there. Ride into a headwind. Learn to crush souls, and break legs off. Also, because if you time it right, the way back home is a tailwind, so you can relax and enjoy yourself.
Till the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!
If you don't like the headwind, then it's about time you get onboard with it, because that shit ain't going anywhere, besides into your face. It's mother-friggin nature. You aren't gonna beat that.
The other day I was out at Fiesta Island, and it had been particularly windy most of the day. As such, a bunch of my riding buddies were texting back and forth, humming and hawing about what the wind would be like on our workout at the island that night. The general consensus? Utter fear.
 |
| A casualty of the winds that day |
In my mind, Fiesta Island is perfect. The big lap is a 4 mile circular loop that starts off with a crosswind. This transforms rather quickly into a short headwind, then a looooong crosswind, followed by a banking lefthand turn that gives you a tailwind. Just when you think you're about to recover, you sweep left and BOOM! Back into headwind before it tosses you into a crosswind, and then you're right where you left off. Sound grueling? That's because it is, and that's how it should be.
It teaches you how to be a hardman (or hardwoman), mentally and physically. Seriously. In other words, it's a free training tool.
I specifically choose a ride which involves a long, soul crushing headwind a couple times a week. I do this just so I get more experience and so I get better at breaking people with it. Think about it for a minute. Assuming you've got any decent wind in your area, just think of the number of directions it can come from. Now think of all those different directions that aren't a tailwind, and try not to swallow in shock, mkay?
I can't tell you how many times my ability to ride into a headwind has paid off, and I've broken lesser riders. More often than not, they look up and see me at the front, practically unaffected as I drill a pace, my pull longer and faster than those that came before me. They see my legs continuing to not mash the pedals, but merely spin, and they tremble. It's at this point that they look down and realize that we've picked up a couple miles an hour. Their heart rate begins to climb, as does their power, and they stare, unabashed as I continue pulling, unwilling to let anyone else come to the front. At this point, they begin to doubt themselves. They doubt their abilities. Their very souls cry out in pain and in disgrace. Now, one of two things happens. Either they break mentally, or I continue pulling and break their legs off. Either way, their time in the group is done.
All because I ride into the wind.
If you don't believe that knowing how to be a hardman in the wind is important, I encourage you to watch my main man Jens Voigt crack the peloton in half at stage 5 of the 2013 Tour of California. How did he do it? He went to the front of the pack during a gnarly crosswind and did what Jens Voigt does best: made lesser men cry by putting down the hammer.
The thing is, anyone can ride fast with a tailwind. It's easy to push 25, 28, or even 30 miles an hour with a strong enough tailwind. But turn around and try riding 20 miles an hour into that same wind, and tell me how you do. It's a whole different beast, and it's what separates the men from the boys. The wheat from the chaff. The awesome post race IPA from fizzy yellow beer. Ya see where I'm going with this? A headwind is resistance training that you don't pay for.
Anyone can go for a ride with a tailwind, focus on their miles per hour, and think that you're one bad mamba jamba. But turn around into that headwind, and all of a sudden it's a different story. You look at your speed, and feel an overwhelming sadness come over you. Don't let it. Remember, everyone is encountering the same wind that you are.
If you have a power meter, instead focus on that. That's where the money lies. Power can tell you exponentially more than speed can, simply because power is actually representative of how much...wait for it....power you're putting out. Isn't that a wonder? Speed, in this situation, is irrelevant. Power is everything. Shift up a couple gears if you have to, but always try to put out a consistent amount of power.
Remember two things when riding into a headwind. 1) those guys sucking your wheel are hurting more than you are, and 2) this headwind isn't going to let up, so you may as well embrace it for what it is: a challenge. And eventually, isn't that what cycling is all about? Pushing past your boundaries to become a better cyclist? To get harder, better, faster, stronger? And to hopefully one day be that rider at the front who knows that, on a whim, they can break the legs off of the lesser cyclists behind them?
Get out there. Ride into a headwind. Learn to crush souls, and break legs off. Also, because if you time it right, the way back home is a tailwind, so you can relax and enjoy yourself.
Till the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Simple commute is best commute
I started riding into work a few days ago, and I have to confess, I don't know why I didn't start doing it sooner. It's not distance. My commute is just over 30 minutes each way. Nor is it the fact that I'm scared of the dark, cuz I'm totally not. I think it was just laziness, honestly. See, here's the deal. I'm not a morning person. Never really have been. I'd much rather stay up until 11pm and wake up at 7, than go to bed at 9 and wake up at 5.
But the other day I figured, I'm already technically waking up stupidly early for work. Why not stop putting it off, and go apply Rule #5 to my mornings? So I convinced myself to do it. I said, "self, quit being a whiny bitch, and go out there and Rule V this shit!" And thus, it was so.
Don't get me wrong. That first morning was not one of my finer days. My alarm went off. I smacked my phone. I rolled over. But then part of my brain kicked in and woke up me. That son of a bitch. I keep trying to kill him with beer, but he keeps sticking around.
OK. I was up and awake. Man, this sucks, I thought to myself. But I pressed on, undaunted. Then I realized I'd broken my one cardinal rule of commuting via bike. I hadn't packed my work clothes in my commuter bag the night before. OK. No biggie. So long as I left by 5:25, I'd be good. It was only 5:10. I was golden.
Somehow, though, I managed to leave at 5:35. I blame some kind of weird time vortex manipulation BS that exists only because I woke up at 5am. It definitely wasn't the fact that I wasn't prepared to ride my bike to work, or the fact that I walked back and forth in my apartment about 97 times. Definitely couldn't have been those. Had to have been time manipulation. Anyway, yeah, I got to work late.
But that hardly matters. Waking up in the morning and going for a ride before you really do anything else is friggin' awesome. It woke me up more than my usual morning coffee (grande iced coffee with an add shot, FYI), and resulted in that day being one of the most productive days I'd had all year. And it put me in a good mood, which is a miracle unto itself.
Best part is, the roads are in pretty decent condition and there wasn't any real traffic to speak of. So I guess my question is, why don't more people commute to work via bike? Or any real kind of alternate transportation? And why the hell did I stop?
 |
| Seriously, this was my alarm some days. |
Don't get me wrong. That first morning was not one of my finer days. My alarm went off. I smacked my phone. I rolled over. But then part of my brain kicked in and woke up me. That son of a bitch. I keep trying to kill him with beer, but he keeps sticking around.
OK. I was up and awake. Man, this sucks, I thought to myself. But I pressed on, undaunted. Then I realized I'd broken my one cardinal rule of commuting via bike. I hadn't packed my work clothes in my commuter bag the night before. OK. No biggie. So long as I left by 5:25, I'd be good. It was only 5:10. I was golden.
Somehow, though, I managed to leave at 5:35. I blame some kind of weird time vortex manipulation BS that exists only because I woke up at 5am. It definitely wasn't the fact that I wasn't prepared to ride my bike to work, or the fact that I walked back and forth in my apartment about 97 times. Definitely couldn't have been those. Had to have been time manipulation. Anyway, yeah, I got to work late.
But that hardly matters. Waking up in the morning and going for a ride before you really do anything else is friggin' awesome. It woke me up more than my usual morning coffee (grande iced coffee with an add shot, FYI), and resulted in that day being one of the most productive days I'd had all year. And it put me in a good mood, which is a miracle unto itself.
 |
| Yup. Kinda like this, but MOAR BETTER. |
Every day that I commute, it saves me gas, it saves me wear and tear on my car, and it keeps me from getting stressed out. If you've ready this post, then you know I kinda sorta already talked about how working out helps make you happy. Didn't read it? Shame on you. Did read it? Thumbs up!
Then there's the fact that one more bike on the road is one less car in its place, of which there are already plenty. I mean, there are a lot of people who do my same work commute. But I think the worst parts are the fact that 1) the traffic is always inconsistent. One day it'll take me 15 minutes to get to work. The next it could take me as many as 30. 2) There's quite a few douchenozzles who'll cut you off. Why? To be a douchenozzle, that's why. If I ride my bike, I solve both of those problems. My commute time will be consistent, and because I take bike paths most of the way, I don't need to worry about people cutting me off.
Will it last? Will I continue this new system of travelling to work? I don't know. But I'm gonna try. And that's where you, my dear reader, come in. I issue this challenge. For every view this post gets, I will commute to work for one day. If it gets 30 views, that's 30 guaranteed days of commuting. 80 views is 80 days. 1 bajillion views? Well, that's pretty much commuting for forever, times infinity. And I challenge you guys to try it, too. If you're not comfortable riding to work, then find another means of transport. Join a carpool. Take the trolley. Do something other than your usual morning routine. Give it a try. If you don't like it, switch back. But no harm ever came from trying.
Till the next time, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!
Then there's the fact that one more bike on the road is one less car in its place, of which there are already plenty. I mean, there are a lot of people who do my same work commute. But I think the worst parts are the fact that 1) the traffic is always inconsistent. One day it'll take me 15 minutes to get to work. The next it could take me as many as 30. 2) There's quite a few douchenozzles who'll cut you off. Why? To be a douchenozzle, that's why. If I ride my bike, I solve both of those problems. My commute time will be consistent, and because I take bike paths most of the way, I don't need to worry about people cutting me off.
Will it last? Will I continue this new system of travelling to work? I don't know. But I'm gonna try. And that's where you, my dear reader, come in. I issue this challenge. For every view this post gets, I will commute to work for one day. If it gets 30 views, that's 30 guaranteed days of commuting. 80 views is 80 days. 1 bajillion views? Well, that's pretty much commuting for forever, times infinity. And I challenge you guys to try it, too. If you're not comfortable riding to work, then find another means of transport. Join a carpool. Take the trolley. Do something other than your usual morning routine. Give it a try. If you don't like it, switch back. But no harm ever came from trying.
Till the next time, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Other crappy bike things
OK, so I already did a similar post as this one, but I thought I'd kind of expand on it. Just little things that tend to bother me. For the things that are done by other people, doing any of combination of these things may not put you automatically on my bad side, it will make me essentially shut my ears off, and instead focus on my ride. For the others, these are just things that are a general pain in the ass that aren't, I feel, thought about all that often. So, without further ado, here we go.
Let's say you get a flat tire. "That sucks," you think to yourself. But it's OK. You've got everything you need to fix it. You get off the bike, grab your tools, pull out the flat, swap in the spare tube, start to inflate it, and.....BANG! Pinch flat. You pinched the tube between the wheel and the tire. Now you're doubly hosed, because you have two flat tubes. Pinch flats are the worst thing ever. Not only because you ruin a perfectly good tube, but also because the sound of the tube exploding sounds like a gunshot and scares the bib off of you.
Sticky bar tape. However it happened, once your bars are sticky, there's nothing you can do about it besides suffer in silence. And suffer you will. I dare say having sticky bars is worse than getting gum in your hair. Your life will suck for the rest of the week.
You ever tried to unclip, and almost eat it? Then you'll get a laugh out of this.
Done watching? OK. Did you cringe, too? I did. Because that's happened to me. Inevitably, if you ride enough, you'll fail to unclip and totally eat shit. All you can do is hope you weren't riding with buddies who saw you fall, because they'll never let you live it down. Not ever. Assuming you're not with buddies, then just laugh it off and get back on the bike.
On a related note, say you're stopped. You push off the ground to get going, then try to clip in and totally fail, your leg firing downwards with the force greater than Hulk slamming Loki into the ground. When that happens, all you can do is pray that you don't fall, because then you'll really look like an idiot.
If you don't already know, learn how to change a tire. There's tons of videos on the subject. You can usually get by with a free pass or two if you're inexperienced and riding with friends. But it's one of the basics of riding, and should be learned second only to actually riding a bike.
Oh large vehicles. I love you for your large draft zone, which help pull me at tremendous speeds for extended periods of time, with next to no effort on my part. But so help me, if you fly by me without giving me at least a couple of feet of space, you can be sure that I will think several unkind things about you. There are few things worse than getting buzzed by a bus while it does 45 mph, and insists on passing all super close.
OK. This one is gonna be touchy, and I don't mean to step on anyone's toes here but, well, here we go. Talkers. Now, I want to clarify something. If it's a social ride, and the collective group is sitting around chatting, then that's one thing. What bothers me is when the group settles in, usually after 30 minutes of pedaling or so, and that one chatty Cathy in the group is jabber jawing away in your ear. That part I mentioned in the beginning about tuning you out and focusing on my ride? Yeah, this is the fastest way to get me to that state. Don't get me wrong. If we're just hanging out, then it's all good. But if the conversation is decidedly one-handed, then maybe learn to read the room, or in this case, the road. Shut. Up.
Now, there's a catch to the above. If one person asks the other about their bike, or their workouts, or the like, and there's a back and forth conversation, then that's OK with me. But again, be prepared to read the road and my body language, and shut up when you need to. However, if we're riding, and you want to talk at me about your training or your bike, I will, will ignore you. It's not information I care about. At that point, I'll make it my mission to find any way I can to get away from you, up to and including flatting your tire.
I don't mind chatting while we ride. I'm just the type that prefers it in the beginning of the ride. Because after that first 30 minutes or so, I'm focused on riding. Shit talking, however, is accepted and encouraged at all times.
And, finally, this guy. I mean, really? Really really? How does this happen?!
What do you guys think? Did I miss anything? Were there others you've encountered and wanted to add? Let me know in the comments! Until next week, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
Let's say you get a flat tire. "That sucks," you think to yourself. But it's OK. You've got everything you need to fix it. You get off the bike, grab your tools, pull out the flat, swap in the spare tube, start to inflate it, and.....BANG! Pinch flat. You pinched the tube between the wheel and the tire. Now you're doubly hosed, because you have two flat tubes. Pinch flats are the worst thing ever. Not only because you ruin a perfectly good tube, but also because the sound of the tube exploding sounds like a gunshot and scares the bib off of you.
Sticky bar tape. However it happened, once your bars are sticky, there's nothing you can do about it besides suffer in silence. And suffer you will. I dare say having sticky bars is worse than getting gum in your hair. Your life will suck for the rest of the week.
You ever tried to unclip, and almost eat it? Then you'll get a laugh out of this.
Done watching? OK. Did you cringe, too? I did. Because that's happened to me. Inevitably, if you ride enough, you'll fail to unclip and totally eat shit. All you can do is hope you weren't riding with buddies who saw you fall, because they'll never let you live it down. Not ever. Assuming you're not with buddies, then just laugh it off and get back on the bike.
On a related note, say you're stopped. You push off the ground to get going, then try to clip in and totally fail, your leg firing downwards with the force greater than Hulk slamming Loki into the ground. When that happens, all you can do is pray that you don't fall, because then you'll really look like an idiot.
If you don't already know, learn how to change a tire. There's tons of videos on the subject. You can usually get by with a free pass or two if you're inexperienced and riding with friends. But it's one of the basics of riding, and should be learned second only to actually riding a bike.
Oh large vehicles. I love you for your large draft zone, which help pull me at tremendous speeds for extended periods of time, with next to no effort on my part. But so help me, if you fly by me without giving me at least a couple of feet of space, you can be sure that I will think several unkind things about you. There are few things worse than getting buzzed by a bus while it does 45 mph, and insists on passing all super close.
OK. This one is gonna be touchy, and I don't mean to step on anyone's toes here but, well, here we go. Talkers. Now, I want to clarify something. If it's a social ride, and the collective group is sitting around chatting, then that's one thing. What bothers me is when the group settles in, usually after 30 minutes of pedaling or so, and that one chatty Cathy in the group is jabber jawing away in your ear. That part I mentioned in the beginning about tuning you out and focusing on my ride? Yeah, this is the fastest way to get me to that state. Don't get me wrong. If we're just hanging out, then it's all good. But if the conversation is decidedly one-handed, then maybe learn to read the room, or in this case, the road. Shut. Up.
Now, there's a catch to the above. If one person asks the other about their bike, or their workouts, or the like, and there's a back and forth conversation, then that's OK with me. But again, be prepared to read the road and my body language, and shut up when you need to. However, if we're riding, and you want to talk at me about your training or your bike, I will, will ignore you. It's not information I care about. At that point, I'll make it my mission to find any way I can to get away from you, up to and including flatting your tire.
I don't mind chatting while we ride. I'm just the type that prefers it in the beginning of the ride. Because after that first 30 minutes or so, I'm focused on riding. Shit talking, however, is accepted and encouraged at all times.
And, finally, this guy. I mean, really? Really really? How does this happen?!
What do you guys think? Did I miss anything? Were there others you've encountered and wanted to add? Let me know in the comments! Until next week, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
On the joys of suffering
I need to confess something, guys. Until today, I hadn't ridden my bike in at least a week. Seriously. Looking back at my training log, I see that my last real ride was 8 days ago. Ouch.
But then on Tuesday, I met up with my coach and we got to talking about why I hadn't thrown a leg over the saddle. It wasn't that I was sick. Nor was it injury. I was just bored. The workouts I was getting just weren't challenging. Yeah, they were consistent. But more often than not, I found myself holding back in order to meet the criteria he set for me. I didn't want to over train, because I've been there, and it sucks. So I held back. And then things got boring. But on Tuesday, I talked with the coach and confessed my feelings about my training plan. And you know what he did? He assigned a workout that "would hurt." And I, in my usual smooth manner, responsed "k." But you know what was going through my head? This.
Seriously. I've always been a sucker for a challenge. A friend once challenged me to eat a full tablespoon of wasabi. And you know what? I ate that sumbitch, and didn't ask for water, or milk, or anything. I kept my face stoic, just out of sheer force of will. So if my coach wanted to assign a tough workout and to tell me that it was gonna hurt, he had another thing coming.
So I did the workout. And I kicked its ass. But this isn't about my workout. This is about cyclists, and our obsession with suffering. There's very few sports where your success or failure in a race is based on your ability to just be stubborn and suffer through it. We're a unique breed, cyclists. Maybe not the smartest of the bunch, subjecting ourselves to all that pain. But unique no less.
This is a sport that thrives on suffering. We feed on it. It's our drug. Without the pleasure we euphoria we get during an intense sufferfest, there's nothing left except for an empty, soulless void. It's a sport that literally has a set of stationary trainer DVD's called The Sufferfest, who's motto is "I Will Beat My Ass Today To Beat Yours Tomorrow." Doesn't that sound awesome?!
And let's not forget the very embodiment of suffering. The man who all cyclists can agree practically invented suffering. A man whom we would all buy a beer, if given the chance to sit and be regaled with tales of suffering. Jens Voigt.
For the uninitiated, Jens is no man. He's an unstoppable force. And immovable object. If you ever get a chance to watch Jens race, do it. The man is a spectacle in and of himself. But part of the reason cyclists the world over love him is simply because of his tenacious ability to dig deep, suffer, and never give up. He's been known to yell "shut up, legs!" during races. He tells his shadow to keep up with him. This is a man that we all aspire to be.
A friend of mine recently told me of a massive two day event that he rode. Each day was roughly 100 miles, with around 10,000 feet of climbing. He confessed that, on the final day, in the closing miles, while he rode with a friend, he and his buddy each experienced previous unknown levels of pain and suffering. And I thought that sounded awesome. It sounded like so much fun, it immediately made my bucket list.
It was at that point that I decided. Cyclists are great at suffering. People who love suffering are drawn to cycling, like a moth to flame. We may get burned. But man, it's beautiful and glorious. It's painful, and freeing, and enlightening, and peaceful. On the bike, mid-suffer, nothing else exists except for you, the bike, the pain, and your limits. And even the latter may disappear, if you suffer long enough. Yeah, that sounds pretty good to me.
Thanks for reading, guys. If you enjoyed it, feel free to hit up that "share" button. All the cool kids are doing it! Till the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
But then on Tuesday, I met up with my coach and we got to talking about why I hadn't thrown a leg over the saddle. It wasn't that I was sick. Nor was it injury. I was just bored. The workouts I was getting just weren't challenging. Yeah, they were consistent. But more often than not, I found myself holding back in order to meet the criteria he set for me. I didn't want to over train, because I've been there, and it sucks. So I held back. And then things got boring. But on Tuesday, I talked with the coach and confessed my feelings about my training plan. And you know what he did? He assigned a workout that "would hurt." And I, in my usual smooth manner, responsed "k." But you know what was going through my head? This.
Seriously. I've always been a sucker for a challenge. A friend once challenged me to eat a full tablespoon of wasabi. And you know what? I ate that sumbitch, and didn't ask for water, or milk, or anything. I kept my face stoic, just out of sheer force of will. So if my coach wanted to assign a tough workout and to tell me that it was gonna hurt, he had another thing coming.
So I did the workout. And I kicked its ass. But this isn't about my workout. This is about cyclists, and our obsession with suffering. There's very few sports where your success or failure in a race is based on your ability to just be stubborn and suffer through it. We're a unique breed, cyclists. Maybe not the smartest of the bunch, subjecting ourselves to all that pain. But unique no less.
This is a sport that thrives on suffering. We feed on it. It's our drug. Without the pleasure we euphoria we get during an intense sufferfest, there's nothing left except for an empty, soulless void. It's a sport that literally has a set of stationary trainer DVD's called The Sufferfest, who's motto is "I Will Beat My Ass Today To Beat Yours Tomorrow." Doesn't that sound awesome?!
And let's not forget the very embodiment of suffering. The man who all cyclists can agree practically invented suffering. A man whom we would all buy a beer, if given the chance to sit and be regaled with tales of suffering. Jens Voigt.
For the uninitiated, Jens is no man. He's an unstoppable force. And immovable object. If you ever get a chance to watch Jens race, do it. The man is a spectacle in and of himself. But part of the reason cyclists the world over love him is simply because of his tenacious ability to dig deep, suffer, and never give up. He's been known to yell "shut up, legs!" during races. He tells his shadow to keep up with him. This is a man that we all aspire to be.
A friend of mine recently told me of a massive two day event that he rode. Each day was roughly 100 miles, with around 10,000 feet of climbing. He confessed that, on the final day, in the closing miles, while he rode with a friend, he and his buddy each experienced previous unknown levels of pain and suffering. And I thought that sounded awesome. It sounded like so much fun, it immediately made my bucket list.
It was at that point that I decided. Cyclists are great at suffering. People who love suffering are drawn to cycling, like a moth to flame. We may get burned. But man, it's beautiful and glorious. It's painful, and freeing, and enlightening, and peaceful. On the bike, mid-suffer, nothing else exists except for you, the bike, the pain, and your limits. And even the latter may disappear, if you suffer long enough. Yeah, that sounds pretty good to me.
Thanks for reading, guys. If you enjoyed it, feel free to hit up that "share" button. All the cool kids are doing it! Till the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Tips for dating a cyclist
OK. So, I've been tossing this idea around for about a week or so. Mainly because some days I really feel for my poor girlfriend, who has to deal with me talking about FTP, or power to weight ratio, or my diet, or how expensive new kits are, or any of the other hundred things that cyclist think/complain about. So I wanted to maybe give some tips to all those significant others who have chosen to date my lycra clad brethren.
1) We're mostly introverts. Yeah, we may go out and do 40-50 miles on a casual Sunday ride, filled with 20 other people, but we're actually introverted people. We're all simply drawn together by our love of riding our bikes. And lycra. See, the thing is, though, that with all that time we spend pedaling, we have a lot of time to think. About work, riding, you, ourselves, our cat, you, whether or not we should buy a duck (yes, I've spent two hours debating that with myself during a ride.), if we want a beer or a Coke after we're done, what to eat for dinner, you, and also you.
2) Yeah, we're gonna worry about our diet. This is actually a better deal than most people think. Yes, we're gonna worry about our diet. But here's the thing. We're gonna eat what tastes good. If we've found a restaurant or recipe that is not only healthy, but tastes great, then that's what we're gonna eat. We like finding new foods that taste amazing, in addition to being healthy for us. And besides, it's highly unlikely that it's gonna be like this 1000% of the time. We're gonna get those cravings for pizza and hamburgers with a large Coke, as well. Just trust us when we suggest eating a seared ahi steak with lemon sauce, served on a bed of rice/quinoa, with a baked potato, and a side of strawberry chicken salad.
3) Speaking of food, we won't ever say no to leftovers. If you insist on giving them to us, expect us to put up a token resistance, while silently doing a fist pump.
Of course, that's assuming that there are any leftovers at all. I typically cook for a small army. Not because I have a small army, but because I need to cook like that if I'm gonna keep myself fed. Just don't get your fingers too close when you're pointing out how much we've eaten. We don't want to accidentally consume that, too.
4) Expect to learn what FTP is, or zone 3, or a pinch flat, or any of the other hundred things we talk about. OK. Maybe don't expect to learn about them. But expect to hear about them. Cuz we're gonna talk about it. Learning about them only helps you understand us in the long run.
5) If we say we're gonna skip a ride to be with you, that's probably one of the most important things we can do to show you we care. It means that, rather than spend the 3 hours flogging ourselves doing the intervals that we had planned, we're instead going to spend those 3 hours with you. It's a huge compliment.
6) We don't need much in the way of gifts. Odds are, if riding our bike is something we're really into, we're already pretty self sufficient. And we probably have tons of spares of, well, almost everything. But, if you absolutely want to get us a gift, most peoples minds immediately go to buying a bike. Don't. Those things are wicked expensive, and we don't want that kind of money wasted on us. Instead, how about a new set of pedals and cleats? A new chain? Some handlebar grips/tape? I can't think of any cyclist that would say no to some rad socks, or a new bib. In short, buying us spare tubes and such is a nice thought, but they'll probably sit in a drawer, and buying a bike is just plain crazy talk.
7) Tan lines. In addition to the farmers tan, and the tan on our thighs, I also sport a sock and glove tan. And before I swapped to full fingered gloves, I also had tans on my fingers, also from the gloves. You can tell how long we're riding for just by how well defined the tan lines are.
8) No matter where we are, if we see another cyclist ride by, we're going to silently appraise them. It's not that we're not paying attention to you, it's just that we're trying to figure out if we can beat that guy in a race.
9) When there's a major cycling race on TV, expect us to disappear from the world. Seriously. I've been known to go through complete radio silence while I watch each stage of Le Tour, or the Tour of California, or Paris-Nice. We're not ignoring you. It's just that this is our Super Bowl. Every day of the week. For weeks at a time.
10) Our sport can be dangerous. But we love it. It's ours. But because I ride my bike, I have hundreds of amazing photos and experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world.
11) Finally, and this is important. If you aren't on board with all the rest of the reasons, I think that this one will help you appreciate cycling. How do I put this delicately? Our asses look amazing. Especially in the lycra. Even I am amazed at how good my butt looks in the mirror.
So, what do you guys think? Do you have any other tips for dating a cyclist? I'd love to hear your thoughts, so post them in the comments below!
Until the next one, guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
1) We're mostly introverts. Yeah, we may go out and do 40-50 miles on a casual Sunday ride, filled with 20 other people, but we're actually introverted people. We're all simply drawn together by our love of riding our bikes. And lycra. See, the thing is, though, that with all that time we spend pedaling, we have a lot of time to think. About work, riding, you, ourselves, our cat, you, whether or not we should buy a duck (yes, I've spent two hours debating that with myself during a ride.), if we want a beer or a Coke after we're done, what to eat for dinner, you, and also you.
2) Yeah, we're gonna worry about our diet. This is actually a better deal than most people think. Yes, we're gonna worry about our diet. But here's the thing. We're gonna eat what tastes good. If we've found a restaurant or recipe that is not only healthy, but tastes great, then that's what we're gonna eat. We like finding new foods that taste amazing, in addition to being healthy for us. And besides, it's highly unlikely that it's gonna be like this 1000% of the time. We're gonna get those cravings for pizza and hamburgers with a large Coke, as well. Just trust us when we suggest eating a seared ahi steak with lemon sauce, served on a bed of rice/quinoa, with a baked potato, and a side of strawberry chicken salad.
3) Speaking of food, we won't ever say no to leftovers. If you insist on giving them to us, expect us to put up a token resistance, while silently doing a fist pump.
Of course, that's assuming that there are any leftovers at all. I typically cook for a small army. Not because I have a small army, but because I need to cook like that if I'm gonna keep myself fed. Just don't get your fingers too close when you're pointing out how much we've eaten. We don't want to accidentally consume that, too.
4) Expect to learn what FTP is, or zone 3, or a pinch flat, or any of the other hundred things we talk about. OK. Maybe don't expect to learn about them. But expect to hear about them. Cuz we're gonna talk about it. Learning about them only helps you understand us in the long run.
5) If we say we're gonna skip a ride to be with you, that's probably one of the most important things we can do to show you we care. It means that, rather than spend the 3 hours flogging ourselves doing the intervals that we had planned, we're instead going to spend those 3 hours with you. It's a huge compliment.
6) We don't need much in the way of gifts. Odds are, if riding our bike is something we're really into, we're already pretty self sufficient. And we probably have tons of spares of, well, almost everything. But, if you absolutely want to get us a gift, most peoples minds immediately go to buying a bike. Don't. Those things are wicked expensive, and we don't want that kind of money wasted on us. Instead, how about a new set of pedals and cleats? A new chain? Some handlebar grips/tape? I can't think of any cyclist that would say no to some rad socks, or a new bib. In short, buying us spare tubes and such is a nice thought, but they'll probably sit in a drawer, and buying a bike is just plain crazy talk.
7) Tan lines. In addition to the farmers tan, and the tan on our thighs, I also sport a sock and glove tan. And before I swapped to full fingered gloves, I also had tans on my fingers, also from the gloves. You can tell how long we're riding for just by how well defined the tan lines are.
8) No matter where we are, if we see another cyclist ride by, we're going to silently appraise them. It's not that we're not paying attention to you, it's just that we're trying to figure out if we can beat that guy in a race.
9) When there's a major cycling race on TV, expect us to disappear from the world. Seriously. I've been known to go through complete radio silence while I watch each stage of Le Tour, or the Tour of California, or Paris-Nice. We're not ignoring you. It's just that this is our Super Bowl. Every day of the week. For weeks at a time.
10) Our sport can be dangerous. But we love it. It's ours. But because I ride my bike, I have hundreds of amazing photos and experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world.
11) Finally, and this is important. If you aren't on board with all the rest of the reasons, I think that this one will help you appreciate cycling. How do I put this delicately? Our asses look amazing. Especially in the lycra. Even I am amazed at how good my butt looks in the mirror.
So, what do you guys think? Do you have any other tips for dating a cyclist? I'd love to hear your thoughts, so post them in the comments below!
Until the next one, guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
I have an announcement (and also a thought)
K. So, there's gonna be a short interlude before I get into my post today. I just want to take a minute of your time (and maybe several minutes of my time while I type this out), to announce my latest sponsor: Skratch Labs. I've been using their drink mix for about a year now, and after my first taste, I knew I had to have more of it in my life. Shortly after, I sprung for their cookbook and portables cookbook, and haven't looked back since. Anyone that's ridden with me in the last year has heard me heap praises upon Skratch Labs, and that was before I got a sponsorship. I loved their stuff that much. It's a company that actually cares about athletes and has a personality.
Unlike some of those other sports drinks, which are "engineered," Skratch Labs drink mix is designed to not only be good for you, but also taste freaking amazing. Those other drinks just taste too sugary, and the thought that they were "engineered" that way just doesn't sit well with me. Skratch Labs drink mix? Designed with real ingredients (that you can freaking pronounce!), including real fruit. And real food is good for you, right? Right. Anyway, give their stuff a try. Believe you me, you won't regret it.
Skratch Labs, thank you for the opportunity to represent you in the coming year. Here's to a fantastic 2014 to us both!
Now, onto the blog post.
Yesterday, I went out on a ride. Shocking, right? It was one of those "ride how you feel" days. If I wanted to ride easy, I could. I had carte blanche to ride as easy as I wanted. But I didn't. For about an hour and change, I went out and set a tough tempo, purposefully flaying myself in a number of sections. Then, today, a few friends asked me about the name of the ride. Who, after all, could my worst enemy be? And why would I go on a ride with them?
Before I get into that, I want you to sit back and think for a minute or two. Think about your last race or group ride. Think about the people who surrounded you at the start. Think about your attitude towards them during your ride or race. If it was a group ride, is there someone on the ride who regularly beats you along a particular section of the ride? Maybe it's a hill. Or maybe it's a long, flat section that lets you haul ass. But during these sections, they always drop you. If it was a race, is there someone there that beats you regularly? And maybe that one time when you've got a gap on them, and you think you've got them, and then they show up out of nowhere to edge you out at the line. Frustrating, isn't it?
Now, think about those days when you're riding with, or racing against, them and you decide, consciously decide, that you're just not even gonna try. Your body tries, but you mentally hold back. And that person just devastates you. Despite your body really, actually giving it everything it has, it's your scumbag brain that holds you back.
Here's the thing, though. I, just like you in those situations, go through the exact same thing. There are days when my brain holds me back. In any workout, any race, any riding event, unless I have a mechanical issue with my bike, or I'm the victim of some kind of outside influence (a blown tube, for instance), if I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, then I have no one to blame except for myself.
And it's on those days, the days I don't feel like riding hard, or riding at all, that it's the most important day to train, and train hard. "But Ray," I can hear you saying aloud to yourself. "If I don't feel like riding, what good is it gonna do me if I do?" It's simple. We've all heard the saying that, every time you spend a day sitting on the couch, somebody you race against is out on the bike, right?
Well guess what. That person you race against? I can guarantee you that they have those days where they don't want to ride hard. And they may give in to that urge to sit on the couch. And suddenly, it's you out riding your bike, and not them. All of a sudden, you're the one building up an advantage. In my book, shutting your brain off, and training hard counts for double miles. Not only are you getting the miles of training into your legs, but you're practicing not listening to the one person who can really shut you down: yourself.
Like I said, if you're in a race, and you don't do as well as you'd hoped, it boils down to one of three things: 1) you have a mechanical. 2) you were a victim of outside influence (such as a crash). 3) you held yourself back. You. But by training on those days when your scumbag brain wants to hold you back, you learn. You learn to not only cope, but to break through the wall you put up in your mind. Like Miley Cyrus, you come in like a wreaking ball.
So the long and the short of it is: those days when you just don't feel like it. Keep that up, and those people you keep having trouble with will soon see nothing but the back of your wheels as you ride away from them. Train hard. Race hard.
Tell me guys. Do you have any methods you use to break through the mental block when you don't feel like riding? What is it? If you don't train on those days, how come? Lemme know in the comment section below!
Till the next one guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!
Unlike some of those other sports drinks, which are "engineered," Skratch Labs drink mix is designed to not only be good for you, but also taste freaking amazing. Those other drinks just taste too sugary, and the thought that they were "engineered" that way just doesn't sit well with me. Skratch Labs drink mix? Designed with real ingredients (that you can freaking pronounce!), including real fruit. And real food is good for you, right? Right. Anyway, give their stuff a try. Believe you me, you won't regret it.
Skratch Labs, thank you for the opportunity to represent you in the coming year. Here's to a fantastic 2014 to us both!
Now, onto the blog post.
Yesterday, I went out on a ride. Shocking, right? It was one of those "ride how you feel" days. If I wanted to ride easy, I could. I had carte blanche to ride as easy as I wanted. But I didn't. For about an hour and change, I went out and set a tough tempo, purposefully flaying myself in a number of sections. Then, today, a few friends asked me about the name of the ride. Who, after all, could my worst enemy be? And why would I go on a ride with them?
Before I get into that, I want you to sit back and think for a minute or two. Think about your last race or group ride. Think about the people who surrounded you at the start. Think about your attitude towards them during your ride or race. If it was a group ride, is there someone on the ride who regularly beats you along a particular section of the ride? Maybe it's a hill. Or maybe it's a long, flat section that lets you haul ass. But during these sections, they always drop you. If it was a race, is there someone there that beats you regularly? And maybe that one time when you've got a gap on them, and you think you've got them, and then they show up out of nowhere to edge you out at the line. Frustrating, isn't it?
Now, think about those days when you're riding with, or racing against, them and you decide, consciously decide, that you're just not even gonna try. Your body tries, but you mentally hold back. And that person just devastates you. Despite your body really, actually giving it everything it has, it's your scumbag brain that holds you back.
 |
| Stupid brain. It's just along for the ride, anyway! |
Here's the thing, though. I, just like you in those situations, go through the exact same thing. There are days when my brain holds me back. In any workout, any race, any riding event, unless I have a mechanical issue with my bike, or I'm the victim of some kind of outside influence (a blown tube, for instance), if I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, then I have no one to blame except for myself.
And it's on those days, the days I don't feel like riding hard, or riding at all, that it's the most important day to train, and train hard. "But Ray," I can hear you saying aloud to yourself. "If I don't feel like riding, what good is it gonna do me if I do?" It's simple. We've all heard the saying that, every time you spend a day sitting on the couch, somebody you race against is out on the bike, right?
Well guess what. That person you race against? I can guarantee you that they have those days where they don't want to ride hard. And they may give in to that urge to sit on the couch. And suddenly, it's you out riding your bike, and not them. All of a sudden, you're the one building up an advantage. In my book, shutting your brain off, and training hard counts for double miles. Not only are you getting the miles of training into your legs, but you're practicing not listening to the one person who can really shut you down: yourself.
Like I said, if you're in a race, and you don't do as well as you'd hoped, it boils down to one of three things: 1) you have a mechanical. 2) you were a victim of outside influence (such as a crash). 3) you held yourself back. You. But by training on those days when your scumbag brain wants to hold you back, you learn. You learn to not only cope, but to break through the wall you put up in your mind. Like Miley Cyrus, you come in like a wreaking ball.
So the long and the short of it is: those days when you just don't feel like it. Keep that up, and those people you keep having trouble with will soon see nothing but the back of your wheels as you ride away from them. Train hard. Race hard.
Tell me guys. Do you have any methods you use to break through the mental block when you don't feel like riding? What is it? If you don't train on those days, how come? Lemme know in the comment section below!
Till the next one guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!
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