I would apologize for this one, but I'm really not sorry. See, as somebody who has two cats, and has had dogs in the past, I can say confidently that pets are a pain in the ass. I have way less trouble with my bikes than I do with my cats. And cats are supposed to be independent creatures! Now, I'm not saying you should get rid of any animals you have. Just that, in the future, you should look into buying a bike instead of some kind of critter. So, without further ado, here are my reasons why bikes make the best pets, and regular pets are a PITA.
1) Pets will get into things/places that they shouldn't. Like I said, I have a pair of cats, and when they get a wild hair up their asses (which is often, seeing as how they have fur and all), they love jumping up on the counters and table. Except that, you know, that's not cool with me. My bike, though, never goes where it shouldn't. I put it somewhere and come back to it an hour later, it's still friggin there! Unless it decides to fall on the ground. Then, you know, it's on the ground. But still basically where I put it, just not where I want it to be.
2) Pets have to go to the vet. Vet bills. Ugh. I mean, I get why you take your little fuzzball to the vet. But keeping up to date with shots, and paying for a microchip, and then taking them in for check-ups. It all adds up! Don't get me started on when your little furry bundle of joy decides to go and get injured. Then it's crazy pricey! My bike, though? All I have to do is take it in for regular maintenance, replace a few parts here and there, and I'm good! Unless I crash. Then I take it in to make sure nothing is broken or anything.
3) Your bike never gets underfoot. Know what one of the biggest hazards in my house is? Standing up and friggin' walking somewhere. Doesn't matter if I walk from one end of the apartment to the other, or if I walk 10 feet. Know why? Because my cats are gonna try to trip me. Why they do this, I have no idea. Maybe they're plotting my death, and I've just been lucky to survive thus far. My bike, though, just sits under my legs, and doesn't try any of that shit. It just follows where I go. Even if I clip a pedal on something, and I start to crash out, I know that my bike is right underneath me!
4) Pets need food, and attention, and if you're really unlucky, regular baths. My bike, though? Chain lube, oil, and a cleaning from time to time. Big bang boom!
5) Your bike will never leave you. Unless you gave it away or sold it, of course. Pets are douches, and might just walk away from you, even if you call them. Your bike would never ignore you like that.
6) Pets get fur everywhere. Assuming you don't ride in the rain or snow, a bike will only get dirt and grease places. But that's not that hard to clean up, right?! And assuming you do ride in the rain, then all you need to do is clean up the water. Ain't no thang.
7) Pets take up tons of time and attention. My bikes? They only time they take up is when I'm actually riding them. Same goes for the attention! Unless I'm thinking about them, which I do all the time.
8) Pets always want attention, and unconditional love, and for you to spend time with them. Bikes, though, if they could take, just want you to ridden them all the time.
9) Pets typically make noise any time they want something. Whether it be food, water, attention, or to be played with, until they get what they need, all they ever do is make noise! But my bike only makes noise whenever it needs maintenance. Totally different!
These are just a few reasons why I think bikes are way better than pets. I'm not gonna get rid of my cats any time soon, but I always know what'll love me unconditionally: my bike!
What do you guys think? Are there any reasons I missed about why a bike is better than having a pet? Let me know in the comments! And till the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.
No comments:
Post a Comment