Top 10 annoying things that you can encounter on your ride (it's not as bad as you think!)

Heh. Sorry for the Buzzfeed-esque title. I couldn't help myself. As the title suggests, there just some things that fall under the purview of bike riding that, when they occur, make me just roll my eyes and sigh. Now, this is just my top 10 list. Obviously, yours may vary. But take a seat in the saddle, and let's go for a ride. That's the only pun I'll make. Promise.

1) Leaving the house on a ride, getting a couple miles in, and then realizing you forgot your bottles. That ever happen to you guys? Of course it has. And it's annoying, isn't it? I once had a 6 week stint where, at least once a week, whenever I left the house on a ride, I'd forget my water bottles. But I'd get like, 4-5 miles from home, realize my mistake, and just keep going. I mean, after all, I'd gone way too far already. There was no way I could turn around now. Obviously, I broke out of that habit eventually. But it still made me a bit paranoid about checking my bottles.

2) Speaking of forgetting things, ever forget your socks? Fortunately, this has only happened to me a couple times over the last few years. And, yeah, it's not that bad, compared to forgetting your water bottles. But man, it's just so annoying. Your feet get stuck to the shoes. They sweat. It's uncomfortable. You look silly. It's enough to make you wonder why bad things happen to good people!

Actual photo of me with no socks. What a sad, sad foot.

3) Salmons.

4) This is a two parter. I don't ride with headphones very often, instead choosing to focus on my ride (and also keeping with rule #62). But when I do, both of these things usually happen. First off, the cord running from my jersey pocket, under my jersey, and along my back manages to find the one uncomfortable place on my body, and sticks there. Which is, of course, also the one place I can't ever seem to quite reach. Second, have you ever looked around while wearing headphones, and they pop out of your ears? Ugh. If someone has come up with a solution for that, I'd love to hear it. Hook a brotha up. Because it happens to me all. The. Time. And it makes me sad, because it's usually at that one good part of that one song that I love.

5) Bugs. Yeah, bugs. There was a three month period over the summer where I had to contend with bugs at least once every other week. Once I got stung by a bee. Another time, I had one of these giant guys come up and hit me in the face. Then there was one time I had to deal with what I can only imagine was a metric ton of gnats buzzing around my favorite bike path. It was so annoying, and made me want to punch every bug in the face.

6) Forgetting your gloves. This is probably worse than forgetting your socks. Not just because it's uncomfortable, but mainly because it's uncomfortable. I mean look at it!

Look at his face. Doe he look like he's having fun? Of course not! Why? Because he's not wearing gloves.

7) Hills. Yeah, I said it. Climbing hills. I'm going to be honest. I am not a great climber. In fact, I don't think I even qualify as a decent climber. I'm no Andy Schleck, who's ability to release his tenacious grasp upon gravity and gently yet quickly float up hills is a constant wonder to me. The only reason I climb as OK as I do is out of sheer spite for the hill. Oh. And raw, unadulterated power. But mainly, just spite.

8) Saturday/Sunday Coffee Rides, without the coffee stop. I've been the victim of this exactly once, from someone whom I'm pretty sure was the embodiment of pure evil.

If you promise me a coffee ride, and we don't stop for coffee, then expect me to rummage through your jersey pockets for the rest of the ride, and steal any delicious snacks that you've been saving. You have been warned.

9) Those epicly awful crotch wedgies. That's all I'll say about that.

10) Phantom creaks. Or squeaks. Or any real mystery noise that your bike makes. Especially if it persists after cleaning your bike not once, not twice, but three times. And extra especially if it ends up being something unimportant that's making noise. I once had a bolt that came loose in my water bottle cage. But only such that the bolt would rattle when I had a bottle in the cage, which is hit and miss. This went on for 3 weeks. 3 weeks of the stupid water bottle cage squeaking and creaking for hours on end. And me not being able to find out what the problem was. Ugh. I still have nightmares about it some days. Fortunately, I discovered what the culprit was and fixed it. By throwing it away. Then lighting it on fire and melting it, before finally stuffing it into the jersey pocket of the no-coffee-having-Saturday/Sunday-riding evil person. And now my bike and I are all like,

So, I guess that those are my top ten most annoying things that happen on a ride. But what about you guys? What are some things that annoy you guys the most when you're out on a ride? Is there something that I missed? Let me know in the comments below! 

Remember, guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!