Big Bear race report: I raced a single speed against guys with gears

Have you ever done that? Entered to race against guys with gears, while you only have one? I've done it twice now with very different results, but both times were awesome. The first time was years ago, and honestly not the point of this story. This is a blog post about a mountain bike race, something I've not done for a long, long time.

You said it, Old Ben!

So, why'd I decide to race? Long story short, I just felt it was time. It'd been long enough since my concussion that I started to feel confident in my abilities again. Of course, having not even ridden a mountain bike in that two year span, my self-confidence was completely unfounded, but that's besides the point! The point is, I decided to race a single speed. Not only a single speed, but a rigid single speed. On a course that I knew had a few spots that would make life unpleasant. I may not have started the race as an angry singlespeeder, but damn if I wasn't close by races end.

Before we begin, though, let's review my thought process for why I decided to race a rigid bike with one friggin' gear on a course that featured some brutally steep sections, against guys who's method of compensating was shifting: in short, there was no thought process. There. Glad we got that settled.

So! Big Bear. I've always thought it was a bitchin' course. Fire road climbs, fire road descents, with single track thrown in for good measure. Like I said, though, I raced guys with gears, and this course starts you off with a 2 mile long climb that averages just under 6%. Except when it gets steeper, and sometimes it's triple that. Yeah, triple. And all you can do is sit there, pedal, and try not to cry. I may or may not have succeeded on that last part. Especially since, by the time I hit the top of the climb, all my competition had left me in the dust, literally and figuratively.

If you feel like looking at the course, take a peek at this. Feel like you've got it? Good. Let's continue.

This course, like most of the Big Bear courses, was a lot of fire road climbs or descents. The first real tough part for me was a section called Plantation Trail. It comes at about the 7.7 mile mark, and lasts for just under a mile. Plantation is a twofold section of ouch for me because it's a single track climb. You don't gain a ton of elevation, but when all you have is the one gear, it's enough to put some hurt into the legs. Doubly so because you climb up to Plantation, and then continue to climb after you leave Plantation.

Shortly after that came a trail I'd never ridden before: Skyline Trail. Skyline is like 30% awesome, followed promptly by suck. The first 1/3 of the the trail is rad, because it's little rollers that you can just flow through. The rest, though? Hey, yeah, more climbing. With some technical shit thrown in because the course designers hate you. Yes you, specifically.

There was one section that I knew we'd be racing that I was afraid of, and that was Pirates. In years past when I raced mountain bikes, Pirates had a log transfer that you had to cross, followed shortly by a short, steep, technical climb. Now? Pansy shit. No log transfer. The climb has been shallowed out a bit, and all the technical shit has been removed. Meh.

But Fall Line. Oh Fall Line. When I first raced in Big Bear oh so many years ago, I remember my mentor, Bob Umpenhauer, telling me, "Fall Line is sandy and rocky. It's important to pick a good line, try to follow it, and don't die." Fall Line still sort of lived up to its name. It was less sandy, but just as rocky. You had to pick a good line, and if you were a hard man like yours truly and were rocking a rigid fork, you just had to hang on for dear life and pray you didn't crash out. Obviously I lived, and it was a blast. Plus I got some props from the guys behind me who, when they were able to pass, noticed my rigid fork from the airy comfort of their full suspension bikes. Here's a video of Fall Line. If you can, watch it till the 1:25:31 mark, which is when Fall Line ends.

We tackled yet another new section that had been shredded to shit, and which I was not a fan of because it was stupid, before diving into one of the last two sections I was scrapared (scared and prepared) for: Fern Trail. Fern Trail is basically just more downhill single track, except for one really tricky section. It's a sharp right hand turn that requires you to descend down either large rocks or roots. It was here that a photographer, Called to Creation, decided to post up. Go ahead and take a look and see what I'm talking about. Fortunately, he'd seen me earlier in the day, and as I settled in to bomb the descent, he gave me a shout out.

Then the last section of the course that had been on my mind since before I started. It has no name, but I've taken to calling it "that rocky section where Kris Gross crashed out and had to get stitches." All I can say is, it's a downhill with a ton of little rocks, and it's easy to lose your wheel. And it's where I let the bike have its head, and do what it needed to do to keep us both upright. My arms bounced around so much, they actually went numb. But I'm happy to say, the Marin handled it!

Post race steed, proudly showing off its dirt.

So, long story short, I finished last. Not counting the guys who decided they weren't manly enough to finish the race. If you ask me, they should turn in their bikes. I did the whole thing on a rigid, 26'r, single speed, and still finished. They have zero excuses, short of maybe their legs falling off. Maybe.

If I knew I was gonna finish last, what was the point? To have fun, to shock people, and to see if I could still race a mountain bike. Hell, I'm willing to be I was the only guy out there on a rigid, 26'r that was also racing a single speed. That's what cycling has always been about for me: pushing your limits. Or, to put it another way....

DO EPIC SHIT.

Whatever you do, make it epic, and enjoy it. You won't regret it.

Now, I just wanna give a quick shout-out to some of my sponsors, without all of whom I wouldn't be the racer I am today.

Spy Optics: your shades have survived everything I've put them through which, if you know me, is a lot. And they not only still hold up, but they also look fantastic. I almost wish they would break, just so I could justify buying a new pair! If you want a rad pair of sunglasses that are light on your face and can take some spills, check out what Spy has to offer!

Zumwalt's Bicycle Center: I brought the Marin in to them on a Tuesday, and said I'd need it by Friday. When they saw the bike, all of us were skeptical that she'd be race ready in that time. She needed a ton of love and parts. But damn did thee guys at the shop get to work. Not only did they do what I thought would be a truly daunting task, they had my bike ready the next day. Hell, saying the bike was ready is an understatement. The bike was unstoppable! I can't thank the guys at Zumwalt's Bicycle Center enough for all their hard work!

Skratch Labs: it averaged about 88 degrees during my race. I knew it'd be hot, so I brought two bottles full of Skratch Labs hydration mix with me. Imagine my shock and disappointment when, during a particularly tricky downhill section just 4 miles into my race, one of my bottles bounced out of the bottle cage and off into the wilderness! Suddenly I had one bottle to last me for 16 miles. But ya know what? I wasn't worried. I knew I had some Skratch Labs in it (pineapple, too! One of my favorite flavors), so I'd be alright! And you know what? Not only was I OK, I felt great after the race. My total hydration had barely dropped. I've been drinking Skratch Labs for well over a year, and even I was impressed! Bravo, guys!

OK, that's all done. Sorry it was so long guys, but I'll let you go now. Until the next one, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground.

Top 10 annoying things that you can encounter on your ride (it's not as bad as you think!)

Heh. Sorry for the Buzzfeed-esque title. I couldn't help myself. As the title suggests, there just some things that fall under the purview of bike riding that, when they occur, make me just roll my eyes and sigh. Now, this is just my top 10 list. Obviously, yours may vary. But take a seat in the saddle, and let's go for a ride. That's the only pun I'll make. Promise.

1) Leaving the house on a ride, getting a couple miles in, and then realizing you forgot your bottles. That ever happen to you guys? Of course it has. And it's annoying, isn't it? I once had a 6 week stint where, at least once a week, whenever I left the house on a ride, I'd forget my water bottles. But I'd get like, 4-5 miles from home, realize my mistake, and just keep going. I mean, after all, I'd gone way too far already. There was no way I could turn around now. Obviously, I broke out of that habit eventually. But it still made me a bit paranoid about checking my bottles.

2) Speaking of forgetting things, ever forget your socks? Fortunately, this has only happened to me a couple times over the last few years. And, yeah, it's not that bad, compared to forgetting your water bottles. But man, it's just so annoying. Your feet get stuck to the shoes. They sweat. It's uncomfortable. You look silly. It's enough to make you wonder why bad things happen to good people!

Actual photo of me with no socks. What a sad, sad foot.

3) Salmons.

4) This is a two parter. I don't ride with headphones very often, instead choosing to focus on my ride (and also keeping with rule #62). But when I do, both of these things usually happen. First off, the cord running from my jersey pocket, under my jersey, and along my back manages to find the one uncomfortable place on my body, and sticks there. Which is, of course, also the one place I can't ever seem to quite reach. Second, have you ever looked around while wearing headphones, and they pop out of your ears? Ugh. If someone has come up with a solution for that, I'd love to hear it. Hook a brotha up. Because it happens to me all. The. Time. And it makes me sad, because it's usually at that one good part of that one song that I love.

5) Bugs. Yeah, bugs. There was a three month period over the summer where I had to contend with bugs at least once every other week. Once I got stung by a bee. Another time, I had one of these giant guys come up and hit me in the face. Then there was one time I had to deal with what I can only imagine was a metric ton of gnats buzzing around my favorite bike path. It was so annoying, and made me want to punch every bug in the face.

6) Forgetting your gloves. This is probably worse than forgetting your socks. Not just because it's uncomfortable, but mainly because it's uncomfortable. I mean look at it!

Look at his face. Doe he look like he's having fun? Of course not! Why? Because he's not wearing gloves.

7) Hills. Yeah, I said it. Climbing hills. I'm going to be honest. I am not a great climber. In fact, I don't think I even qualify as a decent climber. I'm no Andy Schleck, who's ability to release his tenacious grasp upon gravity and gently yet quickly float up hills is a constant wonder to me. The only reason I climb as OK as I do is out of sheer spite for the hill. Oh. And raw, unadulterated power. But mainly, just spite.

8) Saturday/Sunday Coffee Rides, without the coffee stop. I've been the victim of this exactly once, from someone whom I'm pretty sure was the embodiment of pure evil.

If you promise me a coffee ride, and we don't stop for coffee, then expect me to rummage through your jersey pockets for the rest of the ride, and steal any delicious snacks that you've been saving. You have been warned.

9) Those epicly awful crotch wedgies. That's all I'll say about that.

10) Phantom creaks. Or squeaks. Or any real mystery noise that your bike makes. Especially if it persists after cleaning your bike not once, not twice, but three times. And extra especially if it ends up being something unimportant that's making noise. I once had a bolt that came loose in my water bottle cage. But only such that the bolt would rattle when I had a bottle in the cage, which is hit and miss. This went on for 3 weeks. 3 weeks of the stupid water bottle cage squeaking and creaking for hours on end. And me not being able to find out what the problem was. Ugh. I still have nightmares about it some days. Fortunately, I discovered what the culprit was and fixed it. By throwing it away. Then lighting it on fire and melting it, before finally stuffing it into the jersey pocket of the no-coffee-having-Saturday/Sunday-riding evil person. And now my bike and I are all like,

So, I guess that those are my top ten most annoying things that happen on a ride. But what about you guys? What are some things that annoy you guys the most when you're out on a ride? Is there something that I missed? Let me know in the comments below! 

Remember, guys, keep the rubber side down, and your skin off the ground!